It's All About Love

As each day comes to an end there comes that time in the evening when I begin to unwind.  Well, to be honest, it's not normally in the evening for me, it's usually very late at night.  I'm a night person, it seems.  It's in my genes.  My mom was a night person, I am, and so is my daughter.  So, when the day REALLY comes to an end, I start to unwind.

Sometimes, depending upon how well I'm living my intentions to maintain some form of a disciplined schedule, I actually sit, recollect and do a formal examine.  An examine?  Yes, well that's what some of us call it.  It's kind of a personal test of honesty about how I've lived my day.  Not like it's on a chart or anything like that (except if you really get into this and draw that line down the middle of a page...which I've not been known to do much in life).  The examine, for me is about sitting myself before God Almighty, reflecting on the day, and my participation in it.  To go one step more in honesty...often enough I don't sit at all, I'm lying in bed doing this.  There in bed talking to the Creator of the Universe!

It's a good thing my notion of God is based upon the loving Dad I had.  He often told me there was NOTHING I could ever do wrong in life for which he would not forgive me.  WOW!  I didn't dwell on it much as a youth, but I often remember those words of love now.  He's passed on into God, but his words are still with me.  He said that if he, as a sinner could forgive me, then he bound God to do him one better!

The end of my day often finds me thankful for this image of God...a loving parent Who embraces me and loves me despite my many failings at love.  Oh, yeah, I get "the talks" from God.  The Holy Spirit is sent to correct me and help me pick up my pieces best I can, and try to do better, but the talk is not a beating!  It's the talk that flows from a Parent Who wants me happy, wants me to live this gift of life abundantly, and Who does all that is possible to get my mistakes repaired, or pull it all together for the good, because I do so much love God.

At the end of the day I finish my examine, often enough in tears, but always knowing how I will fall asleep in the Arms of Divine Love.  And, so I thank God for loving me...loving me directly, loving me through my husband and daughter, and through my friends and religious community.  And I thank God for accepting my love, poor as it is.  I thank God for the chance to have tried today, and leave it in Divine Hands whether I will be here to try again tomorrow to love a bit better.   At the end of the day it's all about Love.

Good night, God, I love You.