God Willing, We Will Awake in the Morning

I remember as a child being taught to live each day as though it were my last here on Earth. To then live each moment as though it were my last. It was not taught to encourage hedonism, but profound Charity. If I am called home tonight, or in the next moment, would I be at peace with how I've lived?There are some wonderful things my family and the Sisters of Mercy taught me as a youth. I was lucky not to have a fanatically fearful religious family, but an intensely devoted spiritual family, who expressed their faith and spirituality through their religious lives. That's a big difference. Fanatics are fearful. Devoted people are complelled by LOVE, and God is LOVE.

My father should have been a married priest. God knows, he gave as much time to the Church as any priest ever has. He was a knock-around guy. After Church he'd hit the local pub for a few. Pubs then, like the pubs in Ireland, were not dives, but neighborhood hangouts, where much more than drinks went down. But, Da, he was a priest at heart...a man of God. The Church loses so much when men like that are not used to serve as married priests.

At 80 yrs of age herself, my mother presented me for ordination. She said that is what God was trying to get through to me all those years... In the East, where married priests are the norm in the Church, one generation after another has priests in the family. Father to son... With us, it would have been father to daughter. Alas, neither father nor daughter are welcomed as priests in the Latin Rite of the Church. But, then would I have had the wonderful journey in my life if they were? Would I have discovered the Celtic Rite?

Da taught me about Charity. He said it was the MOST important thing we must have. We would be judged by God on how we loved. So, living each day as if it were the last translated into living each day with as much Charity toward others as I could offer.My brothers each died suddenly. No warning. They were about my age. So I have become even more sober regarding this living each day as if it were my last. Those I love KNOW I love them. There is no time in life to let those things go unsaid.

This week a local woman near my age was killed in a car accident. She swerved so as not to hit a deer. The deer is alive, the woman, sadly, died. I felt so bad all week and have been praying for her son and elderly mom. What a shock it is to lose someone we love suddenly. I remember the shock of my brothers...Then there was that little boy I read about yesterday, killed by his dad who is a priest... We do not know the day or the hour. Today's readings...how true.

So, do we live in fear or worry about the day or hour, or in joy and peace? It depends upon our readiness, I suppose. Life is a gift from God, and it'd be awful to live it without joy, or in dread. I know, because I have done that as well, but that is for another day's writing.Tonight, I give my life again to God, or better put, I acknowledge my life is in God's hands, and I'm glad of it! If I live to wake up in the morning, I will give thanks, as I do each morning.

Tonight I pray for those who have died suddenly leaving the sorrowful behind in tears.

Tonight I pray in thanksgiving for my Da and Mom who gave me my Faith, for my family where the seed was watered.

Tonight I give thanks for the love in my life, for my husband and daughter and our extended family and friends. I give thanks for our Church and the wonderful people in it. I give thanks for my religious order, and their love of God.

Tonight, I give thanks for my service dog, without whom I would be much less than I am able to be. Even now, she lies at my feet with her head on my foot...

Tonight, oh my God, I give You thanks in all things. If it be Your Will, I will awake in the morning to give You thanks again.

Goodnight God. I love You.